• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 6:11 PM • • •
Saturday, April 30, 2005
It appears that I have been tagged for a meme, and Tammy I'm sorry I didn't see your comment on my tagging until now but here it goes :-)
Ok, here's how it goes...
Pick 5 of the following and then complete the sentences. Then pass this little meme on to 3 more of your blog friends!
But no tag backs!
And be careful...You could be next!
If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an inn-keeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a Bonnie pirate
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure
So here are my five picks...
If I could be a scientist, I would find a cure for the common cold, because seriously, more people get sick with this pesky little thing each year missing many days of work. Then they pass it on to a family member and it just goes on and on. NOT that I am talking from experience or anything :-)
If I could be a musician, I would write music that would touch the heart and warm the cold places in the soul. It would make you want to cry, and laugh, and dance around. It would get under your skin, and into your very being. Okay so I'm getting a little carried away, but if I could be a musician, I would be the BEST musician, because this is all hypothetical anyway so why not reach for the stars!
If I could be a gardener, people would come from miles around to see my garden. In all the growing seasons I would have plants that thrived. In Spring it would look like a fairy land, with Dogwoods in bloom, and all the spring flowers. In Summer it would look like a Monet painting. In Fall it would have the colors of the harvest. In Winter it would rest, ready to bloom again in the Spring. Unlike the musician thing, I actually know someone who has a garden like that. People DO come from all over to take pictures of her yard, and she seems to know exactly which plant needs what. She's my mother. My favorite time was always the Spring, because I swear that our yard looked so magical I thought I could almost see elves in it.
If I could be a chef I would feed the world.
If I could be a bonnie pirate, I would sail the seven seas and no ship would be safe from my larceny! I would drink rum and bury my treasure on deserted islands, enchanting the skeletons of my enemies to keep watch over it! Okay I think someone has watched the Pirates of the Caribbean too much hee!!
And last but not least, who to pick...hmmm....Let me think.... Okay I pick Oliquig because she has remained silent way too long, and I pick Chris because it would be a hoot to see what he has to say, and I pick Rin because I think she could use something fun to do right now :-) Okay people get on it!!
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Single parent, and damn proud of it!
I figured I opened the door to my opinionated self with the post on gay marriage, so I'm going to continue with a post on being a single mother. Here goes! (I'm not too sure where this post is going, so bear with me).
I was married twice. Once to a man who I still have nightmares about, and yes, the occasional dream of how it might have been had he not had as many insecurities as he did. When I fell in love with him, I gave him my whole heart, willingly and gladly. By his cruelty and inability to deal with his anger, he tore my heart out, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it. He then picked it up, handed it back to me, daring me to love someone as much as I had loved him with a heart so torn and broken I couldn't see a way to make it whole again. That wasn't enough though, when I left him he had to come back and tear me apart physically, perhaps because he needed to see on the outside the same bleeding that was happening on the inside. The second marriage was to a man who was decent, and kind, and calm. Seems like the perfect marriage for me after the nightmare right? The problem there was I didn't love him. I married him because he was safe. I wasn't a young girl anymore, I knew that with age, that first bloom of love doesn't happen like it did before, but I still wanted to have Love, not just acceptance. When I left him, it was bittersweet, I liked him, I felt bad for hurting him, but I knew that if we stayed together sooner or later he would realize that what he had married was just a shell of a woman. You see, I have never loved someone again like I loved my first husband. I'm not sure I'm capable of it anymore, not in the married way. Oh sure, there have been relationships, many physical, some for comfort, a lot I have stayed in touch with as friends, but not Love.
I have learned to love though, a love so deep that I would die to protect it. One that makes me do the most unselfish things, all in the name of the strongest emotion I have ever felt. Of course I'm talking about my daughter. When I first found out I was pregnant, I couldn't believe it. I had wanted a child through both of my marriages, and because of polycystic ovary syndrome, it never did happen. Then I divorced, put the thought of having children out of my mind, and here she was. I was happy, but not once did I consider marrying the father. At this point I couldn't even tell you where he is or what he's doing. He was one of those physical relationships I talked about before, never meant to last past a few encounters, CERTAINLY not a person who would make a decent father in any way. I may not have chosen to be a mother, but I did make the conscious choice to be a single mother. I feel very strongly that one person who is devoted to her child is a much better choice than two people so tied up in misery that the child becomes an after thought. Oh sure, I know the statistics of single parent households, how the children don't do as well as in a household with two parents both working together. But what about the statistics for the two parents who stay together and fight all the time, or the two parents that use a child as a weapon against the other? Where does my child stack up in those statistics? Can you honestly tell me she is worse off than those children? Can you sit there and tell me that a child who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is loved whole heartedly is worse off than a child who may have two parents but is NOT loved whole heartedly by them?
It's not easy doing this alone, I'm lucky to have friends who go beyond the boundaries of friendship to help me and my daughter. Without them I'm not sure how successful I would be. I also wish that things were different, that Princess had a father, actually better to have a Daddy. I also know that there are way more of us single parents in this world than there used to be. Many for different reasons, not all of them good. But you could say the same about marriages. I feel lucky to be a single parent now, no one looks down on me because I am unwed, they see the strength in me for doing this on my own. I'm not ostracized by society. You know what? I'm happy! Truly, deep inside, happy. Being a single parent isn't for everyone, it isn't even something I think should be done at ALL on a whim. But as long as you realize that being a parent means devoting your entire life to shaping and molding a child that will someday be a wonderful adult, well then to me it doesn't matter if there is one of you, two of you, or a whole village.
My child taught me to love and trust again. I see the world through her innocent eyes, and I realize how beautiful it is. I watch her sleep sometimes, and know that I couldn't have asked for a more perfect child, and no I'm not saying she doesn't have moods, come on people, she's a CHILD. But her moods and her testing and her outbursts are what children do to learn, so that, is why I know she's perfect. She acts just as she should.
Single parents are tough, they have to be. They love their children just as much as a two parent household does. They worry as much about the future. They pay their bills (or at least most of them do). There are as many good single parents as their are good marriages, and as many bad. I hope my child grows up and finds the partner she needs in life, but if she doesn't, I hope that IF she makes the decision to raise a child on her own, she does it with as much joy as I have. Even if she chooses not to have children, I hope her life is as happy as mine.
Doesn't every parent, single or no, wish happiness for their child?
Monday, April 25, 2005
A low key weekend, which we totally enjoyed
This weekend ended up being better than I thought it would. On Sunday Princess was invited to a Chuck E Cheese birthday party, which I had been dreading going to. Guess what? I ended up having a blast! Probably because there were very few other kids and parents there besides the birthday party, so there were fewer kids unsupervised. Princess had a ball playing with all the games and getting tickets. I had a blast talking to the other parents. I have the best friends in the world, but it's still nice to talk to parents of the kids your child goes to school with. After that we went to the mall, to buy Princess some new sneakers (if they are blue or green she calls them boy shoes, which makes her little tomboy heart glad). I buy one good pair each time her feet grow, they are the ones she wears the most, so I get them from stride rite. They usually cost about 35 dollars, however I don't feel bad spending that money when I know she'll wear them almost to death. Any other pair of shoes she gets, she gets from Payless, as those shoes she wears less than the main pair. She also got a Nemo beach towel, a Dash beach towel, and an Incredibles beach chair complete with umbrella at the Disney store. I think she made out like a bandit! Lest you think it was all about her, I too went a little crazy and bought some new clothes, yay for me! I buy them from Lane Bryant, as that store seems to remember that we of larger size STILL like to look stylish and hip! I felt just a wee bit guilty buying them, but I do need new clothes for work. Funny how we never feel guilty buying things for our children, even things they don't need, like a new beach chair and beach towels! Today (this is still part of my weekend) I had a class to teach at my salon. I used to work for a major color company teaching other stylists advanced techniques in color, so part of my job description is to keep everyone in the salon in with the latest techniques and style trends. A question, would any of you like a weekly post on style ideas and trends? If so I will certainly start one! After that we had lunch with Roomie's mom, who watched Princess for me while I taught the class. Then no weekend is complete without a trip to Walmart, where Princess got a new pair of sunglasses and new color wonder markers and paper, these things are cool as they only color on the special paper they go with! I got out of Walmart having spent less than 30 dollars, a major accomplishment for me let me tell you!
One other thing happened, I talked to my boss about changing hours this fall when Princess starts school. No longer will I have two days with her on Sunday and Monday as she will be in school on Monday. My new schedule will be one Saturday a month, then Tuesdays until 4 and Wednesday Thursday and Friday until 7. I added another night, which will give me the majority of Saturdays off in a month AND Sunday and Monday off. I plan on volunteering at Princesses school on Mondays. I feel the best way to help Princess succeed is to get as involved as I can. I can't remember the last time I had Saturdays off! I think working three long days are worth it to have three days off. Not the most exciting of weekends, but one that was happy and fun never the less.
That's all for now, have a good night!
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Here I go getting all opinionated.
Okay I'm going to do something that I don't usually do, I'm going to spout my opinions on a hot subject. Remember, this is my blog, and my opinion, you can disagree with me in comments but I will not tolerate rudeness. That said, here I go.
In Connecticut this week, civil unions were voted in for gay couples, without a court order. I'm proud of the step that our state made. It may not have been a complete victory for gay activists, but it's a step in the right direction. I support gay marriage whole heartedly. Two people in love who want to live a life together no matter what their sexual preference should be able to marry, have the rights of a married couple, and be recognized as a married couple. The reason I say that the step our state made is a good start but not the whole victory, is because civil unions for the most part are only recognized in the state they are legal in, in other words, gay couples can get all the benefits that the state gives any married couple, but it will not be recognized in another state or in federal government. So they can get health benefits, they can file jointly for their state taxes, and their children will be recognized as belonging to both of them, but by the state only. They get no social security benefits, and should a custody battle go to a federal court, they child would not be recognized as belonging to both of them.
The same day that law was passed, the Texas House voted to bar gays from being foster parents, and the next day the Washington Senate, by one vote, defeated a major gay civil-rights bill. One step forward, two steps back. The way I see it, if god made all men and women, then god also made gay men and women. It may not be the way we live, but it is the way they are. Might as well criticize a person for having black hair, or buck teeth. I believe in a god who cares for all people, not just the ones that please him with their sexual preference or their political views. We are put on this earth to procreate, which is a big argument as to why gay life style is wrong, but with our modern world, there is a way to make a gay woman pregnant without a husband, heterosexual women do it everyday. Gay men should be able to adopt, after all, a child unwanted to me is more sinful than one in a loving household. I count many people my friend, and some are gay, some are not. I know of a gay teacher in my daughters pre school, who is as nurturing as the other teachers who are not gay. I feel no fear that her influence will make my child gay. Princess is who she is, and what she will grow up to be, is anyone's guess. I love her, no matter what. Whoever she brings home as a partner in her life when she is older, as long as they love each other and treat each other with respect, I could care less if that person is a woman, or black, or Hispanic, or yellow with polka dots.
I respect my gay friends. I respect any of you who may have a differing opinion. But like it or not, by banning gay marriage, you are not banning gays. They are here to stay. Many of our forefathers fought against giving blacks their civil rights. Gays are here to stay, and they deserve to live as rich a life as we do. They have feelings, they bleed red, and they love their families. Let faith stay in the religious world, but don't vote for things in our government because your faith does not let you accept it. Recognizing gay marriage will not undermine the pillar of our society, nor will it crumble religion. But it will let a whole group of people feel that they matter.
For anyone who may want to read more on this, go here. Read with your eyes and your minds open. Good night all.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Do I HAVE to go back to real life???
I came home from Hyannis yesterday night, and had to work today. Not an easy thing to do when you would rather be back in Hyannis let me tell you! We had a BLAST! It was so much fun being there with my niece and nephews and my sis-in-law. There were two other mothers with their kids too with us, and I don't think I have enjoyed 8 kids as much as all of them. The hotel was nice, and had a wonderful pool, which all the kids were in almost all the time, when we weren't out and about that is. Of all the adults there, can you guess which of us was in the pool with the kids??? Yep, you guessed it, me! I played tag with them, which basically meant I chased them around the pool and "tagged" them, but none of them were ever "it" because it was much more fun to have me try to catch them. I love the water, so I was a perfect candidate to be in the pool. We also walked around Hyannis, and went shopping, bought a lot of cool stuff and spent more money than was good for me on trinkets, t-shirts, and meals. Hey we had a blast, so it was well worth it! I don't even want to talk about nutrition this weekend, because there was none for Princess! Kind of hard to monitor what she eats when no one else was monitoring their kids. But you know what? Princes on the whole, is a great eater and likes healthy foods, so I'm not going to stress over one weekend. Bed time? What was that??? And again, NOT worth stressing over for a weekend, we had FUN!! And that folks, is what it's all about! Below are some pics of Hyannis, glad to be back amongst all of you!
First day of vacation at a place called "Zooquarium", Princess is just a bit happy eh!
A view of the beach on Hyannis, this time of year we had it practically to ourselves!
Princess and friend having fun in the sun!
This is what happens when adults drink and have cameras hehehe!
Part of the group, although not all of us!!!
Friday, April 15, 2005
My plans for the weekend
My plans for the weekend:
Work tomorrow, then head to brother's house in RI.
Sleep over, well I'll sleep Princess will be bouncing off the walls with her cousins.
Go with sis-in-law and niece and nephews to Hyannis on Sunday, watch kids bounce off walls again.
Spend truly glorious weekend with relatives, have a blast!
Go back to RI Monday night, spend day on Tuesday with them before heading home.
The weather is supposed to be truly WONDERFUL this weekend, so I hope everyone else has some fabulous plans too. Talk to you all on Tuesday!
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
On chimneys and growing up
We had something happen this morning that Princess found so exciting....We had the chimney cleaned, and by someone who is one of her karate instructors! It's so funny what kids find exciting, like chimney sweeping. You take them somewhere you think they would like, and it ho hum, this is ok, but have someone come and sweep out your chimney, woo hoo! He found a squirrels nest in our chimney, which relieved my mind greatly as I thought I might have mice in my walls. No, just squirrels in my chimney, I think there's a joke in there somewhere hee! She talked karate with chimney man, listening to her talk just made me giggle. It made me aware how seriously she takes karate! Had you asked me before I had kids if 4 year olds would be able to make up their mind as to what they want to do activity wise, I would have said no. But she has opinions on a lot of things, and I realize how grown up she's becoming. I watch her do her karate and I see the utter concentration on her face, and I see how hard she works at it, and I am so proud of her. You see she wants a trophy, and I told her in order to get one she had to practice and work hard at her karate. She has taken this to heart, and works toward her goal in a way that some adults don't even work. She has learned that sometimes in order to get what you want you have to put time and effort into it. How silly of me to have doubted that she was ready for kindergarten, when she has such a keen mind and good understanding of things that I don't think I grasped until I was a little older. I do take some credit for that, since she was old enough to understand most of what I was saying, I taught her that there is such a thing as hard work. If you want desert, you must eat your dinner. If you want a new toy you must put away the ones you have. If you want to go to the beach, the chores have to get done first. Little did I realize that in so simple a way I was teaching her important life lessons, that she is now expanding on all on her own. Now I'm not saying I didn't give her things just for the sake of giving them, but I do believe that in life you have to earn things. And not to say she hasn't tried to get something for nothing, hey I STILL try that and I'm 42! Guess what, it doesn't work for me either! When you think of the things you do with your children, the games, the lessons, you realize that you are molding a human being, one that will have to stand on her own two feet eventually. How wonderful that I have had a hand in creating that! I'm happy she chose karate, because if you get a good school and a good teacher, it just confirms lessons you try to instill in your children. She is turning into an interesting, thoughtful insightful person, and I'm thankful that I'm there to witness it. I'm proud that I taught her to work hard for what she wanted, this is a lesson that will help her all through her life.
I leave you with a question, all you mothers and fathers out there, what is the one thing you have taught your kids that makes you the proudest?
Monday, April 11, 2005
More realizations and hurt feelings
There are times as a mother that you are forced to see some truths about people, and seeing those truths makes you do things and back down from things that you normally would not. My upstairs neighbor and I are close, like sisters, complete with the disagreements that goes along with that. I don't always agree with her and vice versa. However, our children are close, and we tend to discipline each others kids when necessary. Remember that phrase, "when necessary", because I would never discipline in a situation where the parents should, nor would she. Her husband, however, is a different matter. He was raised quite differently from the two of us. He sees any discipline of his child as an attack on him personally as a father. To be honest, I don't like him. No, that isn't quite true. I see in him the glimmers of a man whom I could respect, he has something that could be brought out if he was of a mind to do so. He has problems that keep him from growing and becoming that man though. A lot of them stem from the bottle. He IS getting help, as of now, and both of us keep our fingers crossed that this time he will actually do what he's supposed to do. That said, back to the top of the post. At a party for Little Man, there were a few incidents that I did that he perceived in a way that it was not. One was an incident with soda. His son had a few sips of my grape soda (he is two) and while two year olds don't need ANY soda, at a party for him a non caffeinated one won't hurt him. The husbands mother gave him a sip of hers, which was a Pepsi. Now that is loaded with caffeine, given to a child who has never HAD caffeine ( he has had non caffeinated soda and not from me). I gently said to her that I didn't think it was a good idea to give him caffeine, which she replied oh your right and that was the end of it. The husband saw it as an attack on his mother. He held it in, when she let it go. After that, Little Man threw a rock at me, not maliciously as he isn't a malicious child, but at two he needs to realize that throwing rocks at people is not acceptable behavior. I held his hand, and said (quietly as this wasn't a big deal and didn't need to be made into one) No throw rocks hon. The husband loudly yelled my name quite a few times and told me that I was not to do that again, if Little Man had to be disciplined I was to call one of them over. Now this is NOT the way it is done when my upstairs neighbor and I are together with the kids. I feel that if that was Princess who threw a rock at someone, I would expect the person she threw a rock at to gently tell her that we don't do things like this. If you wait, and tell someone else about it, the meaning of why they are being talked to is lost. Well this turned into a whole "thing", and now I feel hurt the he thinks I was pulling hard on his sons arm and forcing his child to look at me so I could yell at him, which was not the case at all. His reaction turned something so small into a whole big thing. I'm hurt that he thinks I could do something so mean to a child I love almost as much as my own. My upstairs neighbor also saw these things, and saw them for what they were. He saw me as a monster, someone who could hurt his child and force my will upon his son. I think this is wrong. However, I have no choice but to back down, and follow his wishes when he is around, because the long and the short of it is, Little Man is not my child. As much as I may not agree with the husband, He IS the father, so I must back down. I don't do this well. I am a strong woman, who has made it on her own for the most part. I have HAD to trust my friends to step in at times with my daughter when I haven't seen or not been there because of work to do them, I see nothing wrong with this, Princess knows who her mother is, she also has respect for the adults around her because as her mother I haven't undermined their authority. I trust them not to do things to Princess I would not. I expect others to feel the same about me, and the majority of them do, which makes it hard to accept that the husband does not. I sometimes fail to realize that not everyone feels the same way as I do. So I was wrong, not for the way I disciplined his son, but for doing it in the first place with him there. So I step back, not easily as that is not my way, and I will hold my tongue, not for his sake but for my friend who is his wife, and for Little Man whom I love. From now on, if Little Man does things I see as wrong (and really who can say that throwing a rock at someone is right) I will get the father, and tell him. This won't work well, as his reaction will be hey he's only two you know. He isn't strong with discipline at all. Two is definitely old enough to know right from wrong. But again, he is not my child. This will become my litany, until it sinks into my thick skull. All for the sake of two people I love like family. I'm still hurt, and still mad, but.... He is not my son. Now I learn to step back. Wow has this been a week of lessons, first to let go of my daughter to grow, and second to step back and not do that which is so natural for me to do. Here's to growth, however painful it may be.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
My new look
How do you like my new look? I love it!! Ro from Ciao My Bella did it for me! She updated me and changed things around so it just looks and works better, my personal info is still there, but there's a link to it now. I cannot say enough about how wonderful this is, and how wonderful Ro was to do this for me. Anyone looking for a new look for their blog, I highly highly recommend Ro to do it, she is VERY talented!!!! So hire her, she is also a single mom and I support single moms whenever possible! You WON'T be disappointed I guarantee it!!! Ro, thankyou again I love this!!!!
Friday, April 08, 2005
Can I just hold on to the now for a little longer?
We live in a state that allows you to send your child to school at age 4, as long as she is going to be 5 by the end of the year. I've been having a big problem with this, because I feel that 4 is too young to enter regular school, part of it too is that mommy is having trouble letting her grow up. They're little for so short a time, I wish I could hang onto it a little longer. Last night there was an open house for kindergarten enrollment at the school Princess will be attending. I liked the kindergarten teachers a lot, but still was not convinced that sending Princess at 4 was a good idea. Then they started talking about the things that kids should do to be successful in kindergarten, and Princess is already doing all of it and then some, and has been for a long time. As a matter of fact, looking around the room, she seemed more outgoing than some of the 5 year olds. Her pediatrician told me a while ago I should send her in the fall as he hasn't seen a child so outgoing, smart, and social at her age in a long time. So now I had him telling me she was ready, and the school showing me she is ready. So I started to delve into why I was so hesitant to send her, and came up with some truths that were hard for me to face. First off, I was a shy child, I had been adopted just a year prior to starting kindergarten, I looked different, I acted different, and I grew up in a neighborhood where there were no kids my age. Mom was not the type to socialize me with other kids, so I was also somewhat backwards in my dealing with other kids. My grade school experience was not great. As a matter of fact, it really didn't get going for me until the last year of middle school. So I was projecting my feelings onto my child. Princess is outgoing, confident, and smart. She is everything I wasn't. She has my confidence level that I have now, not the one I had as a child. She is also raised differently than I was, because I didn't want her to feel so out of step with everyone else. She is an individual who is more likely to lead than follow. The long and the short of it is, she's ready to take on school. She wanted to start today after last night! The other concern I had was her being so much younger than everyone else as they get older, being the last to get a license etc. A friend of mine pointed out that she is more likely to tell the driver where they are going and what time to pick her up! I am also fully aware that whatever decision I make for her will have been wrong when she a teenager!
I have to let go. It's hard, but it must be done. I don't want to hold her back, I want to gently nudge her into her future. I'll still be there to hold her hand when she needs it, I'll be there to listen to her, I'll be there to help her succeed. If she falls, I'll catch her, and when she spreads her wings and flies, I'll be the first one cheering her to new heights. I'll gently push her when necessary, and always always love her as only a mom can. But the first step must be taken, so I take a deep breath, and take it, ready to handle anything that will come along. I hope.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Random Thoughts on a Wednesday Night
I'm still chortling over the fact that the bad people took my garbage bag from my car...hey they were NEAT bad people heehee!
I had a mass suicide of bugs on my window tonight, my windshield looks like it has freckles. Kamikaze bugs, that's what they were!
Ever notice how many Burgundy SUV's and minivans there are????
It seems somehow wrong and strange to me that the death of the Pope could be a windfall for the merchants in Rome.
Today was lovely, and I was working gah!!! Oh well, this weekend is shaping up to be a nice one so I'll have some days to enjoy.
Princess has a better social life than I do, this past weekend was a party for her friend Jack, next weekend she has a birthday party for upstairs neighbors son, the weekend after that both of us are going to Hyannis for the weekend, and then she has a birthday party for her friend Nikki on Saturday the weekend after, and a birthday party for her friend Caylee on Sunday. If you want some time with her, I can perhaps pencil you in next month hehehe.
Caylee's party is at Chuckie Cheeses, I was hoping to go through Princesses entire childhood never setting foot in one, oh well!
Did I mention I hate Chuckie Cheese??
Princess hates pizza, go figure.
My social schedule this month is a bridal shower and a trip to Hyannis. I can pencil you in anytime you want LOL.
I missed the first half of lost, and now I sit at the computer half listening to it....okay got to watch bye for now!!!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
The stolen car saga continued
So my car as you all know, was found. seriously, the town it was found in? So NOT the hot bed of corruption! I mean there are fields and streams and cows and kids playing ball in fields, and there was also my car! It was found in a rather good section of town, must be nice to be rich and young and bored! The only thing stolen in my car was my spare change (if you need 2 bucks that bad welcome to it) and.....my bag I keep in the car for garbage! Yes I know! A garbage bag!!! Everything else was in the car, my scissors, which I am SO glad were there as they all total cost about a 1000 dollars, the new garden hose worth 30, my new car mats. My daughters car seat and toys, and of course, the angels which are always in the car, and probably could use a vacation now after the hard work they did hee! The car is in excellent condition. Did I fail to mention that part of this was my fault? Yeah I left the keys in the car. In my defense, they were the second set of keys the dealer had just given me and I wasn't used to having a second set, so I forgot I had them. The Policeman said they were probably looking for things to steal in the car and got lucky. In my car was some items from my upstairs neighbors car, so they obviously rummaged through their car too. I now possess one of those clubs that you put on your steering wheel, so if they still have that second set of keys, good luck going anywhere! I tend to think they threw the keys in the woods after their joy ride. So all in all, a good ending to a bad situation. Oh and my landlord is going to install a motion detector light right by the driveway for us.
And in case the bad guys read blogs? You guys suck!! You took my car, but you did leave it in good condition. I perhaps could forgive you for that. But you also frightened Princess, she's only 4!! And for that, I will NEVER forgive you.
For the rest of you good people, you are the best!!!
Monday, April 04, 2005
HOORAY!!!!
THEY FOUND MY CAR!!!!
The police called me tonight, and they found my car!!!! From what they were told by the towing company, it seems it's in good condition, I'll know more tomorrow when I can call them myself. It was taken to a town about a half hour away, and this town it was taken to? Totally rural, and a good town. It's kind of like someone from Bedford Falls (It's a Wonderful Life) taking a car go figure!!!!
More to come tomorrow when I know more!!!
Thankyou EVERYONE for your wonderful sympathy and concern!!!!!
The aftermath of theft
Let me take a moment to thank all of you who sent me your thoughts, I don't think any of you will know how much they mean to me. It makes me realize that there are a lot of decent people out there, and we can't get stuck on the scum that exists.
Today is actually a worse day than yesterday. Today I have had a whole night and day to think about what happened, and to feel utterly depressed about it. I know it's only a car, and I know that insurance will take care of it, but I still feel totally violated. I don't know if I would feel different if the car had been stolen out of a nameless parking lot, but the fact that it was taken from my own driveway beside the house that I live in, well I feel like this person invaded my space in the worst way. Okay perhaps not the worst way, there are worse ways to have your space violated.
The police came by yesterday after I discovered the car was gone. It actually took me a minute to register the empty space in front of me was where the car was supposed to be. Then panic and anger and sadness hit, almost all at once. I had worked SO DAMN HARD to get to the place where I could afford a new car, and it was gone. The police told me told me that mine was not one of the "hot" chop shop cars, so chances are someone took it out for a joy ride or something, and in that scenario, there was a "possibility" of getting it back. I'm torn by that. Part of me doesn't want it back, after some nameless faceless person sat in there and used my car, and the other "bigger part I must say" doesn't want the hassle of looking for a new car again. I liked the one I got!!!! I don't want to try and find another one I like!!! Anyway, the complaint was filed, my car vin number went into a national data bank, and if it's recovered anywhere in the U.S. I'll know. I then talked to the insurance guy. He walked me through the policy and what I can expect. They give it 30 days to get the car back, if it comes back in that time they assess it for damage and take care of it. After 30 days, they pay out on the car. Which they use two companies for, both which assess book value of a car. They then average out those two values and I get what they come out with. Then when I was at the dealer, I went for the roll-over insurance. What that means is that anything the insurance company doesn't pay out, that insurance will. It insures that the loan company will get full value on the car. Then.....I get to look for a new car again. I will have to come up with another down payment, as that won't be covered. I also have rental car insurance for 30 days, which I pay out of pocket and which the insurance company pays me back when the settlement is done.
To any of you who have had bad experiences with the police or insurance companies, I'm truly sorry. I had a wonderful experience, the policeman was so kind and sympathetic, and took the time to reassure my daughter who was very scared. The insurance person was also so sympathetic, and really took the time to make sure I understood what was going to be done. Princess has been having a hard time of it. She said yesterday "Mama, I didn't know there was bad people in our town." I told her that there were bad people everywhere, but there were a lot of good people who helped to keep us safe. Last night she had to make sure both doors were locked so that no one would steal her toys. I hate the fact that she is now aware of bad people, but part of me is also relieved, because she has now seen that not all people are to be trusted, and this may make her a bit more cautious. I told her that the car was, after all just a car, and that the important thing was that we were all safe and whole and happy. That the thing that really matters in life are the people you love.
Things I'm thankful for in this case:
We weren't in the car when the bad people came.
No one was hurt.
I have wonderful friends who have given me there whole hearted support and love.
I have wonderful insurance, Progressive if anyone ever wants a REALLY good insurance company.
My town has truly caring policemen in it.
All in all, it's a car, and that, as we all know, can be replaced. Princess or my friends, they couldn't be.
That's a lot to be thankful for.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Life just sucks
Hi.
Remember me?
The woman who was so excited about getting a new car? How much I loved that car? How much freedom it represented to me?
Yeah well it was stolen sometime last night.
Life just fucking sucks at times.