Friday, June 03, 2005

The one where Mom thinks I'm gay

You get to a certain age, and your single, and worse yet...Have gay friends, and people around you tend to assume things about you. I think it's easier for them to imagine you gay than just not interested at the time. A few years ago, I had this problem with Mom. It all started with an argument over gay men. Mom was saying that when my brother was younger, he used to clean pools. There was a gay couple on our street, and she said she hated when he cleaned their pool, because after all, he was a good looking boy of 13 and they were gay. I stopped short, and looked at her incredulously. I said "Mom, just because their gay, what makes you assume they would be into boys? We're talking gay men here not pedophiles." She got mad (oh what a shock, my mom getting all mad and stuff) and said I knew nothing because she's read books on the subject. I got a little irate and asked her if they were those Victorian sex novels that were oh so accurate portraying sex. Perhaps I shouldn't have said that but C'mon, this conversation was getting from ignorant to just plain stupid. I tried to tell her that most pedophiles were NOT gay men but heterosexual men. It went down hill from there. I ended up just giving up in disgust and going up to the room I was using at her house for the visit. She came in a bit later and said, "I'm sorry about the argument, I didn't realize that this touched you so deeply"....huh??? You see, if you defend gay rights and gay men, therefore it just stands to reason that you are gay!!!
For a long while after, there were comments like "Well perhaps you'll meet someone nice...whoever they may be" and "well maybe you can't live with men"! After a while, I wanted to yell in her face "Mom I got Noelle the old fashioned way, with a man and I liked it, as a matter of fact if the opportunity arises I'll do it again!", which would have totally shocked her let me tell you!
The point I'm making is, now that I have a child, and have a female roommate, it's not just mom who makes assumptions. After all, you can't just be going shopping with a friend and your child, it must be your lover and your love child lol!!! If I really was gay, trust me I would hope mom would accept me for what I am, but since I am NOT gay, well I guess I just wish she would STILL accept me for what I am! Someday, I may meet the right man. I may not. This seems so foreign to my mom, who thinks that "family" only consists of a husband, wife, and children. Today there are many types of families. Mine is just a little different that's all. Most times I laugh when people make assumptions, it's funny and I just go with it because to explain everything just takes too much time. But I put my foot down when my mom does this, because she has made assumptions with all of us, all as true as the one where she thinks I am gay. Sometimes I wish she would open her eyes and see ME. Not what she thinks I am. But that is another post for another day, and maybe a visit to a therapists couch hee!
Have a great weekend everyone, and tomorrow there will be another hair post :-)

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 9:06 PM
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