Monday, December 27, 2004

4 Years Ago Yesterday


This story actually starts 4 years ago yesterday....And 8 weeks. 8 weeks before I was to give birth is actually when I found out I was pregnant. For those who want more info on that part....Go here . I was on bed rest, which was miserable, my blood pressure was high, which was miserable and dangerous. All I wanted was to have my daughter NOW! I started contractions on Christmas Eve, which I tried to hide from everyone as I was at a Christmas Party that night and didn't want to alarm everyone. One of my good friends noticed me grimacing.....And the cat was out of the bag! Up to that time I was under the delusion that I would have a natural childbirth, however, after the minor contractions I was having, I truly decided no way! Long story short, I didn't have her Christmas Eve, nor did I have her Christmas day. I was scheduled to have her the day after, as they didn't want me to go past my due date (the high blood pressure thing). On Christmas day, my parents were going to go up to my brothers house, which is in the same state as I am. They did that so they could be here for the birth of their granddaughter. I was living with two other roomies at the time, thank god, it would have been horrible to be alone then (no the father never came to see me, and to this day has not seen his daughter.... His loss!). I called mom and dad at my brothers house when they got there, crying that they didn't love me because if they had they would have stopped at MY house first...Ok ok I was just a wee bit emotional :-) They rushed down to see me after that, which also made me miserable as I was so uncomfortable that just talking was hard work! The next day I went to have her, and there was a fire alarm going off in the hospital! Only me! It turned out to be nothing, just smoke in the basement, but I wasn't able to go up to my room for about 2 hours. Not good, as I had to pee at least every 5 minutes! Finally I went up, and got some good news. I was already well on my way to having her so I didn't need pitocin, which I hear makes labor even worse! I won't lie to you folks...It was horrible! I have never felt such pain in my life....Then....Relief! I got an epidural, to all those ladies yet to have babies, remember that word! Life was good after that! Until it came to pushing, which hurt like HELL as they have to let the epidural wear off so you can push! 3 hours of pushing later, I finally had a baby girl, at 11:32 at night. A miracle happened. All that pain, all that misery, all the bad feelings, it didn't matter any more. It all just vanished in my mind, I had a little GIRL!!! And she was perfect!!!! Not a thing mattered at that moment other than that. I don't think I stopped smiling at all. I had wanted to be a mother forever, and finally I was. It didn't seem real. Yes, even the pain didn't seem real. For all those mothers out there, always remember that feeling when you first have them, it makes the day to day stress seem less so. And to all you women trying to be mom's, never give up, it is worth everything!!!! Happy Birthday my baby, I love you. I can't wait to see what the next 4 years have in store for us!


• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 9:34 PM
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