• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:31 AM • • •
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Feeling a little bit sad and stressed right now
Most of the weekend was wonderful, minus the poisoning of the niece. There was one thing yesterday that I have been dwelling on since it happened. My landlord called and said there was a possibility that they were going to sell this house. It weighed on my mind all day in little snippets, then last night the worries started as I tried to sleep. I love this house. I love the yard, the street, the neighborhood. I love the fact that Princess loves this house. I came here when Princess was 9 months old. It was the start of a new life for me, and it has been wonderful! Now I'm not saying that moving would change everything, but there are things that need to be considered. I have two cats, so I have to find a place that accepts pets, because they are part of my family and there is no way I am giving them up! I need a neighborhood that is affordable and nice enough for Princess to play in. I have to somehow tell her that we need to move, but we don't need to do that yet until the landlord gives us the final word. Oliquig will still be my roomie, and thank goodness for that as we get along so well and Princess loves her with all her heart. It's hard to think of leaving when you truly like where you are. I would love to stay in the town I'm in, but frankly it's kind of expensive around here. I can't buy because of things in my credit past. This is the hardest part of renting. You get to love a place then find out you have to leave. Even harder when you have kids. I have no idea where we will go. I think I'm in for some sleepless nights here folks. My heart is heavy, and my mind is blank. I know that I'll find a place, I know that it'll still be a home because that which makes up a home is not the actual house. But damn I love this place! And the thought of leaving is more than I can take right now. So....I'll start to look, because I need to know what's out there. I'll start to plan, because I have responsibilities other than to myself. I'll start to pack, because I hate to have that all to do at the last minute. And when the landlord gives me the word, hopefully I'll be ready. At least physically, because emotionally and mentally I don't think I 'll ever be ready. Oh well, that which does not destroy us makes us stronger.
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