Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Easter and family. Both wonderful.

Spring here, things are blooming, including my mood, I seem to be in a much better one. I had my whole family and then some to my house for Easter, it was wonderful. My dad has kidney disease, and is close to needing dialysis. He has good days and bad days, and lately the bad days have outnumbered the good. Three days before Easter Mom was certain they wouldn't make it. Dad had some bad times, and was very week. He had wet the bed and she called me as she was cleaning the sheets. My mom is hard to deal with in the best of times, and my dads sickness has not brought out the best in her. She has never been a care giver, not even to her own children, so being one to her spouse is not natural to her. That said, I felt very sorry for her. Dad is rather oblivious to what is going on, his mind is not as sharp as it used to be, and he is the eternal optimist. It's mom who faces the reality of having her husband die. She wasn't sure dad would be strong enough, and was not wanting to drive up for Easter as she felt that her nerves couldn't handle it. Underneath it all, I could sense a fear, one so great it overwhelmed her. Her husband, her life mate, her rock, her right hand, is sick and no one can tell her if he has a few months or a few years. This on top of being a woman who would have been better suited to a career than she ever was as a home maker. Don't get me wrong, she cooks like a chef, kept a house that could have been in Better Homes and Gardens, threw the right parties, knew the right people, but none of it made her truly happy, because she was born in a generation that told women that they couldn't have both a home and a career, however hard that is.
Well, this post is not about Mom, it's about Easter. When mom told me they couldn't come up, I told her I understood and whatever she felt she could do was ok. Then I thought about it, well as far as driving is concerned, I could go pick them up from the ferry dock, if dad was week we could help him up the stairs and even give him a tray in the bedroom, at least family could go see him up there and he them. As far as him getting sick while up here, well my sister in law is a nurse and could certainly keep him together to get him to the hospital. I told her all this, and she started to cry. Which made me cry. The long and the short of it, I picked them up from the ferry dock, dad was in such good spirits he ate like a champ, and even smiled through the fatigue that hit him after supper. This was a tonic that both mom and dad needed right now, and I am SO glad they came. At this point, I take no family get togethers for granted, because I don't know how many more of them we have with all the family here. I cherish them. This summer, if all goes well, I'll have a get together for the whole family again, a big old barbecue in the back yard. I plan for the get togethers even though I know this may not happen, especially when dialysis starts. But if I stop planning, I feel like that's giving up on dad, and I won't do that.
Don't miss any opportunity to see your family. As much as they anger you, and piss you off, or make you cry, because you will miss them when they're gone.
Not so upbeat huh, but if you look close, you will see a lot of love and joy in this post. Just look real close.

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:59 PM
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