Sunday, February 27, 2005

I was tagged, here's the meme to prove it

Cap'n Woody tagged me for this musical meme, so here goes!

The Musical Game of "Tag"

1. What's the total amount of music files on your computer? 73, but most of those were downloaded by my roomie.

2. The last CD you bought was: The newest one from Michael Buble. Haven't had a chance to listen to it yet though.

3. What song did you listen to just before reading this message? The theme song for "The Weekenders", it's a Disney show my daughter much for being in tune with any other music besides radio disney!

4. Name 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you and tell why they mean so much:
  1. Ghost by Indigo Girls, because it's a bittersweet rememberance of loves long gone. It makes you nostalgic, happy and sad all at the same time.
  2. You Can't Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones, because it truly describes my life, especially the line "but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need".
  3. Zoot Suit Riot by the Cherry Poppin Daddies, this song makes you WANT to dance!
  4. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, hey it's Queen what's not to like!
  5. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2, because I don't just love Bono I LOVE Bono, I even stalked him once, but alas he wasn't even there.

5. Who are you going to tag next? (3 persons) and why? Supine because I love her funny posts, and I want to hear what she says, Bad Penguin because from past memes and posts she and I like a lot of the same things, and Ro because she's a New Yorker and I grew up in New York.

So there you have it folks, and thanks again Cap'n Woody for tagging me!

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 11:41 PM
Saturday, February 26, 2005

Introspection and weekend plans

On my way to work I started to think of some of the things I have read on blogs, and some of the things I have said on other peoples blogs. For the most part, I find bloggers a creative lot, filled with stories that keep all of us coming back to hear what else is going on. It's very fascinating to read about other peoples lives to me, even the mundane days. Some bloggers claim that what they write is not truly themselves. I disagree. Even if who you show us is not the whole you, bits and pieces of the real you come thru. If you read carefully, you can piece together parts of selves and come up with a pretty good picture of the person who is blogging. Then there are those who spout their beliefs and look down on others who don't share them. I went to one such blog, and while I most definitely have a liberal bent to me, I don't dismiss those who are not liberal. We can learn something from all beliefs, and to dismiss someone's beliefs as wrong because you don't agree, well that just makes us narrow minded. I fell into that trap. This blog I speak of was so off base to me, that I left some remarks that I would never have left in any other blog. I suddenly realized today that this person has as much right to her beliefs as much as I have to mine. If I don't agree, I never have to go back there and read it again, which I won't. But to tell her that she is so wrong and stupid, well that's just not the person I want to be. She has as much right to blog as I do. So from now on, instead of attacking someone's beliefs in comments, if I disagree I think I'll just write about what I believe in in my blog. Enough of this introspection, let's go on :-)
The week work is over for me, now I have two days to do whatever I feel like doing, plus some household chores, which trust me I only do because the alternative is never to see the floor again and wear dirty clothes, which is just nauseating. So household chores will get done, and then tomorrow, roomie and I are hosting.......a scrapbook party. Yep, I said it, a scrapbook party! I am so looking forward to this, the last scrapbook I worked on was for my parents, this one will be for me. Who is the star of my new scrapbook? Could it possibly be Princess? Of course! So I hope everyone has a good weekend, and do some fun things just for you! Life is not just about weekend chores :-)

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 5:43 PM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Job or Career?

The past few days have been very hectic at work. Yesterday I had a poor woman who had hair that was almost beyond repair, and no it wasn't a home job it was done in a salon. This got me to thinking about the difference between having a job and having a career. When you have a job, it's a place you go to for a good portion of the day, you count the hours until you are done, and then you promptly forget it when you go home. It pays a check, and it let's you pay your bills. When you have a career, it's still a place you go to for a good portion of the day, and there may be days that you count the hours until you're done, but the time you spend at work is so different. You care about what you do, you strive to be better at your work, you go to classes or seminars to help you achieve your goals. A career helps define you as a person, a job is just what you do. I have a career. I strive to be the best at what I do, and I stand by my work. I genuinely care about my clients, and there are times that I think of them and what I do when I get home. The person who destroyed that clients hair obviously doesn't take what she does seriously. To those of you out of the profession, you may think that coloring your hair is just a matter of opening a box and dumping the contents on your head. There is so much more to it. I have studied chemistry, learned the different nuances in color. I know how the chemicals work that I put on people's hair. I know the laws of color, and know that you may be able to bend a few of them, since most of them are grounded in science, I know that there is only so much you can bend. I know that when hair is in a damages state, that there is no bending those rules. When a client leaves my chair, I know that I have done my utmost best to make them happy and to give them a color that will make them individual and uniquely them. I guess I should thank those hair dressers that don't pay attention to things, because of them I have a reputation in my area of being able to fix just about any hair disaster. It's just hair some of you may say, but think about it, hair helps you define yourself, your style, and how you want to be perceived. So I will continue to go to classes, I will continue to try my best, and hopefully I will continue to make my clients happy. The next time you're at work think about how you perceive what you do. It may make a difference in how others perceive you.

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:16 PM
Monday, February 21, 2005

My Weekend and what became of it

My parents decided not to come this weekend, we had snow Sunday into Monday, which is my weekend. My parents are 75 and 82, so needless to say the thought of having them on the road going home today made me a bit nervous, so I was just as glad they didn't come. The one that was truly saddened was Princess, she loves her grammy and grampy a lot. It's tough to explain to a child why someone can't come, even when there is legitimate reasons. We did have company though, some good friends came by, including Oliquig's parents, whom Princess also loves as much as grammy and grampy, so all ended up well. I made roast beef, which ended up being over done, partly because I left it in the oven until it reached a higher temperature than I would have liked, and partially because I kept it on a warming tray too long. Still good though. There was also oven roasted potatoes with garlic and rosemary, which was probably the easiest recipe ever and so tasty! The meal was rounded out by asparagus with bearnaise sauce, and a delicious homemade chocolate devils food cake with 7 minute frosting. Anyone who wants any of these recipes, ask and I will email you, I would be happy to share! There was also wine, of COURSE! A good time was had by all, Princess and Little Man from upstairs played, and were so happy to have time together, the rest of the company talked and laughed, what more could you ask of a gathering of good friends. Today princess and I were out playing in the snow, we threw snowballs at the window, which Psykit tried to get....from the inside! She's not the smartest of cats, but so cute. Below are some pics of today. I hope everyone's weekend was good, mine was unexpected but turned out to be a very fun time, and really what more could you ask of a weekend!

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 2:53 PM

Here is Psykit, trying to catch snowballs from the inside! Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 2:51 PM

Hoss doing what he does best when it's cold outside. Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 2:50 PM

Princess helping clean off roomie's car today. Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 2:49 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2005

Question for the day

Just a question:
Why does milk at the grocery store cost $4.39, and at the convenience store for the same brand of milk cost $2.99? When usually everything is more expensive at the convenience store!

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:44 PM
Friday, February 18, 2005

Random thoughts and cake

To all of you who wished me a Happy Birthday, thankyou so much, it means a lot to me to know that you think of me from time to time, as I think of all of you. It has been a crazy hectic week, I usually answer all my comments one at a time, but truthfully with the hectic week and still having so little energy at night from having had pneumonia, I haven't had much inclination to blog or write emails, I apologize for that. This week at work we lost two people, the one who wasn't well liked by all, and another one who is leaving for a salon that is more structured. Me, I kind of like being able to do my own thing in a salon. It's funny, but we have a core personnel who have been there from the beginning, and then there are those that come and go. Kind of like life sometimes I think. So needless to say it has been an emotional roller coaster at work, because let's face it, we in the hair industry thrive on drama, and there sure had been that lately heehee!
This weekend my parents are coming, and Princess is so excited, she loves her grammy and grampy very much. Me, I'm thinking of all the cleaning that I still have to do for them, and feel a bit overwhelmed. I still have to go shopping for the birthday meal! I found a recipe for a chocolate devils food cake, so if it turns out good I'll post the recipe. If on Monday there is no recipe and no mention of said cake, you'll know it sucked :-)
Anyway, I truly have nothing to blog about, but I did want to let you all know I'm still here and so appreciative of all your good thoughts! Have a great weekend everyone, and do something fun!!!

P.S.: After having over a week of 50 plus weather, ask me how annoyed I am that the temp outside according to weather bug is 16 degrees!!! I WANT SUMMER!!!
There I'm done now :-)

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:24 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Of Birthdays and Knitting

MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!!! If you read this on the 16th, the actual day of my birthday, please post a comment and say Happy Birthday, I ask for nothing else except acknowledgement of my birthday...although cash and gifts are always accepted lol!!!!!! I am now officially 42....funny I feel no different than oh say...41 hehehehe! My parents are coming for my birthday this weekend, I told them we could go out, which mom proceeded to tell me that they had had a bad meal at a Long therefore they don't want to go out in a totally different CT....yeah it makes no sense to me either. Then mom added, "besides, dad really likes your cooking". So I'm making my own birthday dinner, which I find more funny than disturbing, you'd have to know my parents! Besides this birthday doesn't end in a 5 or a 0, so I can deal :-)
On a totally unrelated note, I spent the weekend knitting a hat, scarf and glove set for Princess this weekend, which came out great if I do say so myself :-) So below you can see the finished product. My daughter is growing up too fast :-( Oh well, if I can't stop the hands of time for myself, guess I can't expect it to change for Princess :-)

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:54 PM

Here is my handiwork, blue is Princesses favorite color! Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:49 PM

Princess wearing the oh so cute hat, this pic gives my heart a jump, she looks so old to me...which means she's growing up....(sigh) Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:45 PM
Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentines Day

Even when I was married, all I saw of Valentines Day was that it's a made-up holiday by Hallmark to sell more cards, and if you're a man, make you anxious about getting just the right valentines gift, well okay that goes for women too! I felt that romance was something that should happen all the time, not just on a designated day. I preferred going out to restaurants when they were less crowded, and hey presents were better when given for no reason at all. Many of those feelings still hold true, but a few things have changed. I have no man in my life, nor am I sitting here pining for one. Perhaps I need a break, I haven't been without a man in my life except for these past 4 to 5 years. About time I learned how to be me by myself. Do you see the conundrum here? I'm not by myself, I'll never be by myself, I have my daughter, and she is the best and brightest thing in my life! I am a very independent sort, so I would have a husband or boyfriend in my life, but I would always deep in the back of my mind, be wishing I could answer to no one but myself. I just wasn't sure enough in myself to go and do it.
So here I am, I answer to my daughter everyday, I never knew that huge responsibility could be so sweet! Every day with her is exciting, (even the bad days when she isn't happy with anything hehehehe) every day with her keeps me young, and every day with her makes me learn something knew. So this Valentines Day, I give all my love to Princess. Until she came into my life, I truly didn't know the meaning of unconditional love, now I do. There are days that I may not be happy with some of her behavior, but underneath that is a love so deep it's awe inspiring. She looks at me, with that goofy cute smile of hers, and I know that she has my heart forever. Her laugh makes me laugh it's so infectious! Each stage she enters is something knew to marvel at and admire. How much she has learned and continues to learn makes me humble. The way she looks at life makes me look at it in a whole new way. I finally understand my mother, something I never thought would happen EVER. I still don't agree with many of the things my mother did, I may need extensive therapy for that heehee! But I understand her, and admire her for the things she did right, and forgive her for those things she did wrong. Princess has given me that gift, on top of all the others. Princess has an amazing capacity for love, and she shows me how to love all things more deeply every day.
So thankyou Princess, for being in my life, thankyou for the powers that be for giving her to me, and thankyou Princess for teaching me that Valentines Day can be a day of acknowledging great loves, no matter what kind they are.
So to all you lovers, mothers, fathers, and people who are just making there way in the world, Happy Valentines Day! Tell someone how much they mean to you today!

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 6:45 PM
Friday, February 11, 2005

A journey without an end

It's funny the things that come up in conversation in a salon. Next Wednesday is my Birthday, I will be 42. That number is divisible by 7, and according to the massage therapist at work, who is also very spiritual, that is a special birthday, and means I am starting the 6th phase of my life. She told me that the sixth phase is all about spirituality. Okay to some of you, you may be going huh?? What the heck does that mean?? Well, at first when she told me this, that was my reaction. But then I started to look at what I have been doing this past year, even thinking of some of the posts I have made. I seem to be on a journey of self-discovery, not the least of which is my spiritual side. Let me explain.
I'm not very religious, but I do have a strong belief in a higher power. I hesitate to call it god because that only implies the masculine side of things. Nor do I pray to the god and goddess, because that limits my belief to a male and female deity. By calling it a higher power, this does not say anything about male and female, right or wrong, night or day. This just stated what I think it is, a higher power. I don't profess to know what that higher power is, perhaps I'm not enlightened enough or delusional enough to put a name to it. But my journey into this started with the birth of my daughter 4 years ago. I started to think about that higher power, because truly with my history of PCOS and the fact that there was a condom involved, I thought it a miracle that I conceived let alone had a child. The journey was in the back of my mind for some time, but the real world intruded on it, like finding a way to support us and getting an apartment without the roommates I had at the time. Making sure I could pay the bills and put food on the table took a lot of my energy. Learning how to be a good mom took the rest. So now, on the eve of my 42nd birthday, I am able to support us, I have a wonderful and caring roomie, and while I'm still learning about my daughter, a life long pursuit, I know her, NOW I can look at the spiritual side of me.
The nail technician at the salon has no belief, she's facing the prospect of getting older with no belief in a here-after or anything. This is it for her, and frankly she's afraid of getting old. It seems like such an empty way to be, and not the most comfortable. I don't want to be like that, nor do I think I am. I know there's something after this, but since I'm still in this life, I won't know what it is until after I die. I'm okay with the thought of getting older because I know deep inside me that what I am, not my identity right now in this life, but the very essence of my life force, will never truly end. Think about it, you can fracture an atom and make it destructive or harness limitless amounts of energy, it is no longer the whole atom, but its energy is still there! And when we use it, it still doesn't go away, so how can a powerful energy force like we have truly disappear? It doesn't, it just changes. Perhaps we aren't what or who we are now, but we still exist. I believe this very strongly. The massage therapist has enough spirituality in her for many life times, and it practically glows out of her. I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way. I doubt that this journey will be completed at the end of this life, but it will be completed, somehow, someway.
Even if somehow my energy/life-force somehow, for some unknown reason, ceases to be, a part of me will live on in my daughter. And a part of her will live on in her kids, and so on. It isn't all the answers, heck I'm not even sure it's the right answer, but for now, it's enough and gives me the opportunity to face getting older with hope, not despair.
May your journeys end where you want them to!

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 9:18 PM
Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Let's dig deeper.....

Ever wonder why people do the things they do? I mean, what's truly behind the actions? This has been in my mind lately for several reasons.
At the birthday party I talked about, I had a slight incident with one of PinkGirl's Mom's friends (say that ten times fast heehee!), Now before I go any further, I have met her a few times before this party, thank goodness or I probably would be very wary of her, I know a lot of what she said was the wine she drank. She mentioned that her husband was a cop in my town, so I said I would have to get to know him. Before I could say anything else, like because if I get pulled over in town it would be nice to know a cop, she turned around and said "If you touch him I'll scratch your eyes out!" To which I responded "Sweety it's not like that" or something to that affect. I wonder what happened in her past to make her react that way. I am certainly no threat to her, we are very different. It was the wine talking, but I also know that drinking takes away your inhibitions and tends to make you somewhat truthful. I wonder what hurt her in the past, or is it just a new person coming into her circle of friends that threatens her. Perhaps someday she'll tell me, or better yet, trust me. For now, I'll be kind because I have seen kindness in her when not drinking.
My boss the other day approached me, we have a problem with one co-worker. Basically she's loud and inappropriate in the things she says. Keep in mind we are a high end salon, so ghetto talk about penises and boobs really doesn't work, especially in a loud voice. No one cares how many men you slept with or want to sleep with, and we certainly don't care how drunk you got last night unless you aren't capable of working because of it, then we certainly do care. He approached me about moving my station. I was in the back in a spot that had a lot of natural light, which is wonderful for a colorist like me. He told me he wanted to move me to the station that said co-worker had and move her back there. I told him he was the boss and could do as he pleased but also told him that moving the problem out of ear shot and sight would not make the problem go away. I told him he needed to address the issue. So now I'm moved, and she and one other co-worker who is always with her are back in "my" area. The station I'm in is big, I need that as I usually work on multiple color services at once, but the light is not as good. My boss is usually a very direct person and not afraid to address anything. So what makes him not able to discuss this? Does said co-worker intimidate him? Or is he just too soft hearted to send her packing? Why would he not be able to deal with this when he had dealt with so much more in the past?
These are things I wonder, because every action or inaction that we take or don't take says a lot about us, even if it isn't clear at the time. Everything we do has a reason even if we ourselves don't truly know what the reason is. I think we should all step back at times and ask ourselves why we want to do or say the things that we do, maybe if we realize that there is a deeper reason for some things, we can avoid some pit-falls in life. Anyway, that's what I think, and so I'm making myself a promise, if I start to do something that seems negative or out of character for me, I'm going to try to find out why I want to do them. Then, we'll see if communication between me and the world is clearer. I wish others would do the same.

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 7:39 AM
Saturday, February 05, 2005

Birthday Parties and friendships

Princess had a birthday part to go to today, her best friend ever, we will call her PinkGirl. Oliquig took her, as I was getting out of work later than three, and that's when the party started. I joined when I got out of work later. I came in, and there were kids everywhere! All were laughing and generally having a good time, playing with toys and making cotton candy and eating it. The amount of junk Princess and PinkGirl devoured today was truly astonishing! I looked around some more, and noticed that the parents were chatting and having a marvelous time too. In my circle of friends, I have a few who have kids, none of which are Princesses age, and the rest have no kids. I love my friends, but it was nice to chat with people who have children, who are not those that I see on a daily basis. PinkGirl's Mom and I have been developing a friendship for some time now, time is not always with us though. So it was very nice to talk to her and her close friends. I realized sitting there that the dynamics of friendships are the same in every circle of friends. There's always a quiet one, a strong willed one (guess which one I am hehehehe), a funny one, and mixes of all of them and a few others I haven't mentioned. When friends have been friends a long time, they tend to tell stories together, and each input makes the story that much more funny/exciting/real for those listening. Each friend completes the other in some way, and here's the best part. No matter how long they've been friends, there's always room for more friends. True, the new friends may not have the history, may never meld as well into the whole as the others, but in some way the new ones fit, and bring something else to a complex dynamic. PinkGirl's mother and I will be successful being friends, and I may even be successful being friends with her friends. But nothing is lost when someone else joins, it just changes, and that, my friends, is what it's all about. Change, challenge, and acceptance. So go out and make some new friends, you may be surprised what they have to offer.

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 8:31 PM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005

It all depends on your point of view

I posted about going to Kid City, a fun place were good times can be had by kids of all ages. I went with two good friends, one I work with "Kay" and one who is a long time friend "Dee". Obviously, not their real names. We truly did have a good time, however, today at work Kay came up to me and told me that Dee had been talking her ear off. Dee, like me, is a single mom, her sons father is still in the picture with the son, unlike me and Princess. Kay, is not, she has a husband. Kay said that in the midst of talking her ear off, Dee told her she was lucky because at least she had a husband, which seemed to have insulted Kay. I asked her what was so insulting about it, she told me she was no better off than any of us. This got me thinking, everyone has their own point of view on life and what it offers. To me and also to Dee, Kay seems to have that which we do not. She has a loving husband who loves her and her son. And unlike me, Dee has a man who is still in his sons life, even if he isn't in hers, so to me Dee also has what I do not. This was brought home clearly last night as Princess has started to ask more questions about her father. I found out she has been telling her classmates that he died. For a split second, I was tempted to agree with her, it would be so much easier than telling her that he chose not to be in our lives. What stopped me was a promise I made to her and to myself when she was born, I would never lie to her, at least not the important stuff. I think all parents use "parents lies" at some point. "No I never smoked pot, yes I always did my homework, I may have not waited till marriage but your father was my first". My apologies to those whom those last statements may be true, it's not my intention to belittle your truths. These are lies that in society is acceptable, telling a child that her father is dead when he isn't, is not. What I did tell her was that her father couldn't give her or me what we needed, so he chose not to be part of our lives, but that I loved her enough for two people. I told her that there were many different kinds of families, some with a mother and a father, some with just a mother, some with just a father, some with two daddies and some with two mommies. I told her that all these families had one thing in common, they all loved their children very much. No more needs to be said until she's older, but oh how it hurt me to tell her that her father did not choose us! Not that there is love between me and the father, I hardly knew him, he wasn't who I would've chosen to father my child. But to know that he wanted nothing to do with her, this hurts me, so how can I tell her that, as I know it will hurt her even more.
Getting back to Kay. I told her that with what was going on in Dee's life right now, she probably does look lucky to her. I told her about Princess and the father discussion last night and told her because she will never have to tell her child anything like that, to me she is lucky. Ask me tomorrow, my answer may be different. Each day we face new challenges, and that changes our perspective and point of view. The next day are new challenges, which will in turn make our point of view new too. To Kay, she has a husband who loves her and her son, but doesn't help out much, so she envies the freedom she perceives that Dee and I have. To us, she has something we may never have. Tomorrow, she may love her husband because he did something wonderful to her so she won't envy our freedom, she will see we are alone with our children. Tomorrow, Princess and I may have discussions about how much we love each other, so that the lack of a father won't be so hurtful. So ask us all tomorrow, you may hear a totally different story, each with one thing in common, we all love our families, no matter how they're made.

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 9:12 PM
Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Back to normal...Whatever that is!

I finally feel like I have a handle on things again. Yesterday I detailed the kitchen, which wasn't easy as my energy is still kind of low, however, I did it and that feels good! In the afternoon I went to a place called Kid City children's Museum with friends, a place where kids can let loose and adults feel like kids! What a fun time we had! I wish there had been places like that when I was a kid, a whole place where they can run around and do all sorts of crazy things! There are rooms that have slides and see saws, a building room, a kids kitchen, a pirate ship, an apple orchard, a diner, and so much more. Each one designed just for kids! I had a blast, first time in a month where I truly felt like I was enjoying myself without coughing! Below are some pictures Kidcity, I hope you enjoy seeing them as much as I did being there!

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 7:39 PM

On the slide at Kidcity, this place it great! Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 7:38 PM

In the kitchen room on the phone, very much like her mother! Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 7:37 PM

In the race car room at Kidcity Posted by Hello

• Posted By Crazy Single Mom @ 7:36 PM
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